TOEFL作文实例解析：建一个社区商业中心

it. (If it were up to me to decide whether or not to build a shopping center near my apartment, I would decide to build it.) (3) (“If it were up to me”) (D) This is because I am the sort of person who enjoy conveniecnce and happincess of contacting with people. (This is because I am the type of person who enjoys convenience and contact with people.) If the shopping center is successfully run, I believe that everyone who lives around will get great benefits from it. (If the shopping center is successfully run, I believe the community will benefit greatly from it.)

II.   Editorial Comments
　　1.       Original: Furthermore, transportation keeps everything going easily. Reviswed: Furthermore, transportation keeps everything running smoothly.
　　英语中没有 “going easily” 这种说法。这里，作者要表达的意思是“事情进展的比较顺利”，我们可以用 “running smoothly”。看以下两个例子：
　　＊    Although the car crashed just last week, the mechanic was able to fix it quickly and now it is running smoothly.
　　＊    Although we made some measurement mistakes in our first science experiment, our second one is running smoothly.
　　2.   Original: Building a shopping center near where we live may have lots of existent and potential advantages. They go as follows. Revised: Building a shopping center where we live has a lot of potential advantages, such as the following.
　　为了逻辑通顺和语言联贯，由such as 或者 as follows引导的所要列举的一系列事情，应该和提示部分（some advantages… such as…）放在同一个句子里。以下是几种常用的表列举的结构：
　　＊    After we moved into our new apartment, I had to buy many new household goods, such as the following: toilet paper, cooking utensils, cleaning supplies, etc.
　　＊    I am in full support of the new legislation for the following reasons.
　　＊     My reasons for studying abroad are as follows.
　　＊     My objections to your decision are listed below.
　　3.   Original: If it is up to me to decide whether a shopping center should be built near my apartment, I prefer to build it. Revised: If it were up to me to decide whether or not to build a shopping center near my apartment, I would decide to build it.
　　注意，if引导的条件从句一定要用虚拟语态。例如：
　　If I were a magician, I would not need to study to get a perfect score on the TOEFL.
　　虚拟语态表示与事实相反的动作或状态。通常在“if”、“if that”、 “though”、 “lest”、“unless”、 “except”、“until”等等引导的从句中，也要用虚拟语态。
　　例如： “If there were no honey, the flowers and the bees would have never met.”
　　III.             Alternative
　　A.    Other ways to express the meaning of “running smoothly”:
　　(i)    “without a glitch” – Exampl

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