2008新托福TOEFL-iBT独立写作指导(三)

例三：
Read the independent writing question and the five essays that follow. Evaluate each essay according to the descriptions of the five levels. Assign each response a score of 5,4,3,2 or 1.
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Advertising influences people’s behavior in a negative way.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Score:     
Response A
       People see a lot of advertising in newspapers and magazines, on signs, and on television. Today people even see ads in the movie theater! All of this advertising influences people’s behavior in a negative way. It influences how people spend their money, how they look at themselves, and how they communicate with other people.
       Advertising influences how people spend their money. People sometimes buy things they can’t afford or don’t need. I read a story of a family that bought a computer for their children, but they were living in a tent. They didn’t even have electricity for the computer. People spend too much because they have to be better than everyone else. In my country, weddings are a big industry, and families spend too much money because of advertising. This is a negative influence of advertising.
       Advertising affects how people view themselves. Sometimes it makes people feel bad if they can’t buy something. For example, a lot of sports and movie stars advertise shoes, clothes, and so on. Children see this on television and pressure their parents to buy it. There are a lot of crimes because teenagers kill to get designer jackets. Advertising makes them feel like they are nobody without designer clothes. Also, teenagers start to smoke because they think this looks cool. Moreover, some girls want to be thin like girls in the ads.
       Finally, advertising changes people’s communication. I hear a lot of little children saying the phrases they hear on television. They also sing the songs from the commercials. Also, advertising influences spelling. I have seen “night” spelled like “nite.” Therefore, advertising has a negative effects on the ways that people speak and write English.
       Advertising has a lot of good points. It is a way to sell things in a capitalist country. However, there are also a lot of bad influences on people’s behavior because of advertising.
 
Score:     
Response B
       Advertising is a large part of our culture, so of course advertising influences people’s behavior. But I disagree with the statement, advertising influences behavior in a negative way. On the contrary, I think the effect of advertising is positive for society.
       One effect of advertising is a way for people to learn about new pro

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